The Truth...

Why doesn't anyone ever tell you the truth?!? the truth about truly being a mother? don't get my wrong stetson is the greatest joy i could ever possibly experience, but he has given me the hardest days i could ever possibly experience too.  today is one of those hard, awful, miserable, excruciating, pull your hair out, i don't think i've stopped crying yet, i might jump off my roof kind of days. no one tells you the days where he won't take naps, when you can't get him on a good nap schedule so he is just so tired and cranky. i've tried every possible combination i can think of. when should he take his morning nap? his afternoon nap? well i think i've figured out the afternoon time around two or three? somedays it works and some it doesn't no one tells you that they will hate their car seat even if the car is moving it used to be fine when the car was moving NOT ANYMORE!!! no one tells you there will literally be days on end where there is no shower, no washing of the hair, no makeup, not leaving the house even once. no one tells you if you lay them down they will cry, if you stand them on your legs they will cry, if you stand up and bounce them they will STILL cry. no one tells you it's ok that if they won't stop crying and your at your wits end its ok to put them in a safe place example crib. to walk out and let them cry for a minute while you sit on the other side of the door and just cry yourself. no one tells you after a long hard day with your child your husband will still come home take one look at you and the first words out of his mouth are "it was a long day you look haggard". no one tells you you will be so tired that laundry will pile up to the ceiling no not really but surely feels that big. no one tells you sometimes the only time to get stuff done is at 3 am when you know he will be a sleep for a long while. no one tells you there will be no home cooking for  a really long time you expect me to cook clean and watch a kid hahahaha  no one tells you that while pumping the thoughts that runs through your head holly cow how can they stretch that far, oh my gosh does it really have to feel like this every time, no one tells you NIPPLE CREAM NIPPLE CREAM NIPPLE CREAM.  no one tells you that drying up your milk supply is like dying then coming back then dying again then ripping off your boobs then one magical day RELIEF.  no one tells you that your relationship with your husband becomes non existent and that you have to try really hard to remember that he is there. no one tells you that even if you read a child help book it doesn't help. but the biggest one of all, is no one tells you how much incredible heart warming bless my soul love you can feel for a little itty baby. and that even though there are hard, awful, miserable, excruciating, pull your hair out, i don't think i've stopped crying yet, i might jump off the roof kind of days, the good days are so amazingly good, that when you look back and also know there are still hard times to come it is all so worth it. i wouldn't change my life for anything.

this face makes it all worth it.